Thursday, November 29, 2007

smaller than a breadbox











how much is enough? when is it time to call it quits? when do we surrender the feelings of justification mixed with rage, bewilderment, resentment and helplessness? years? decades? when someone moves away? when the other person says they're sorry? when they die? what does it take to forgive? and why did anyone ever tell us forgiving meant forgetting? they are not mutually exclusive, nor does one help alleviate the other in most cases. we use many resources to forget, alcohol, drugs, sleep, overeating, running away, writing, transference, to forget, but what resources do we call upon to forgive someone? Most of us, by nature, are not naturally inclined to forgive. We are selfish, we cater to our id, we blame everyone and every aspect of a situation in order to avoid any responsibility or actual justice being served. Why do we crave self-seeking behavior? why can't we release from the status quo our death-grip, instead choosing a banal half-fiction to further on and on.
who was it that said the truth would set us free? free from what? when the truth is spoken, or even thought in the dark recesses of vulnerability, what does it free us from? pain? not really. one can be just as mired in emotions before telling the truth to someone, especially truth in the form of forgiveness, because by its very nature we must tell the truth when forgiving, not fictionalize or marginalize events to serve our own needs.




just some thoughts...not done yet...

0 comments: