Holdfast

I remember when I was a child my parents and I went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium in Monterey, Cali. Of all the zoos and aquariums I have visited, the giant kelp beds there made the most lasting impression on me.

To look up, up, up, as if you were stretching your neck to heaven, seeing the fronds at the very top, waving silently, in stoic and wise fashion...that was, to me, the most peaceable kingdom. The holdfast, the stipe and the fronds; that is the anatomy of the kelp. I love the idea of the "root structure" being called a holdfast. Its very word structure evokes strength. In truth, the kelp don't receive nutrients from the roots-they gather it from the fronds where they can complete photosynthesis at the top of the water. Maybe I am like that sometimes, especially now because I need something to anchor me, a word, a phrase, a paradigm.


I am no longer working. I used to work 40 hours a week, 8-5, day in, day out. Now I am at home, trying to figure things out. My older daughter is in kindergarten and we recently dropped her after school care so I am picking her up right after school. My youngest daughter has moved to 1/2 days in preschool...All this in an effort to save money/help me have more time with my girls. I would like to say I deal with change well, or at all, but I have a terrible time with it. I usually end up stuffing things down until they come up either literally, as in throwing up, or technically, in conversations with people. Not good. So I am making a concerted effort to do as the kelp does. Anchor myself but not always look down. Looking up I see where I receive my nourishment, my support, my life, my health-from the faces of my children, my husband, and the few people I let into my life.

oh they can, can they?

a couple quick things:

Charlotte the little spent her first night in her big girl bed, donated quite happily by her big sis. Abigail is now enjoying the fruits of IKEAs' wonderful selection of low priced bedroom furniture with a cute black wrought iron day-bed style. I could not believe it when Charlotte drifted off to sleep not 15 minutes after we put in her in her bed complete (of course) with baby doll and book. Not only was it amazing that she fell asleep so quickly, but that she trusted and relaxed so completely in a space foreign to her. It was an almost palpable intent with which she slept. I am blessed beyond knowing with her and her sister.

On a different note...My wonderful other half was explaining to Abigail a week or so ago that we could not go out to eat because we were trying to save money and that basically we didn't have the funds to spare at that time. Abigail looked perplexed but decided to ruminate on the news rather than get too upset.
So, fast forward a week and we have Abigail's follow up to this previous conversation. I was cleaning up around the house and she ran up to me all excited and put out her grubby little hand exclaiming, "Mommy, mommy, I found money! Now we can go out to eat!!!". What did her cherubic little hand hold, why, the estimated total of 75 cents in change from a previous vacuuming excursion. Her excitement was outdone only by my laughter. She's a corker, that one.

ps-we did end up going out that night.

-me

I fought the law, and the law won

I was reading the complete ballot measure 50 pamphlet for the state of Oregon, due to come out the end of this month by mail. (Election time is November 6th, Oregonians, be on your toes!)
The official scope of this measure is"AMENDS CONSTITUTION: DEDICATES FUNDS TO PROVIDE HEALTH CARE FOR CHILDREN, FUND TOBACCO PREVENTION, THROUGH INCREASED TOBACCO TAX." Read more about it at http://www.sos.state.or.us/elections/nov62007/.

A few thoughts, fellow noshers:

1. Yahoo! state funding of health care for neglected portions of our society such as children should make me happy, right?
2. But, what about that little tobacco tax increase? What do I think about that?
On the one hand I say, yes, stick it to the smokers, they're just doing myself and themselves a huge disservice by continuing to smoke. Health reasons, air quality, littering, etc. On the other hand I think, well, who smokes? Lots of people, right? But if you look at statistics of a national proportion, a large percentage of smokers are poor. Poor people can't really afford cigarettes, right? They should be doing things like buying bread, and shoes, and milk. If we increase the tax, then maybe they won't buy them. Maybe. Or maybe they'll just skip the bread, the milk, the shoes for poor little Johnny's first day of school, and buy a carton of smokes for $36.50. Maybe if we kill off all the poor people, slowly, via lung disease, without educating them, without creating a means for them to rise up and help themselves, maybe if we do it slowly, no one will notice. By then we will all be living in Utopian bliss, right? No smoking and no irritating poor people taking up space.
3. Concerning what we tax-aren't there other things that we could tax that may provide a more long term benefit to the state budgetary status? I mean, if we tax tobacco, and then tobacco goes the way of the dodo by adding even more stringent anti-smoking legislation at the federal level, then where will the money come from? And isn't that a good thing-obliterating something as harmful as smoking?
4. Now I feel like I'm going round and round and not getting very far in my thoughts. I need help. I need some thing to help me see the light. I need to clear my head. I think I need a smoke.