Holdfast

I remember when I was a child my parents and I went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium in Monterey, Cali. Of all the zoos and aquariums I have visited, the giant kelp beds there made the most lasting impression on me.

To look up, up, up, as if you were stretching your neck to heaven, seeing the fronds at the very top, waving silently, in stoic and wise fashion...that was, to me, the most peaceable kingdom. The holdfast, the stipe and the fronds; that is the anatomy of the kelp. I love the idea of the "root structure" being called a holdfast. Its very word structure evokes strength. In truth, the kelp don't receive nutrients from the roots-they gather it from the fronds where they can complete photosynthesis at the top of the water. Maybe I am like that sometimes, especially now because I need something to anchor me, a word, a phrase, a paradigm.


I am no longer working. I used to work 40 hours a week, 8-5, day in, day out. Now I am at home, trying to figure things out. My older daughter is in kindergarten and we recently dropped her after school care so I am picking her up right after school. My youngest daughter has moved to 1/2 days in preschool...All this in an effort to save money/help me have more time with my girls. I would like to say I deal with change well, or at all, but I have a terrible time with it. I usually end up stuffing things down until they come up either literally, as in throwing up, or technically, in conversations with people. Not good. So I am making a concerted effort to do as the kelp does. Anchor myself but not always look down. Looking up I see where I receive my nourishment, my support, my life, my health-from the faces of my children, my husband, and the few people I let into my life.