she's leaving home, bye bye

Warning: The following statements were written by a fatigued, overly-warm, slightly cranky, low estrogenized, slightly depressed me, not my normal, slightly less fatigued self...

I feel as if my children are slowly moving beyond my reach. I can remember all the nights and days spent nursing Charlotte, spending time with her, just breathing in her baby-smell. I remember, too, talking with Abigail all the time when she was a wee one, playing with her, giving her hugs. Now Charlotte won't let me hug her, doesn't want me to hold her, and basically ignores me as much as humanly possible. I don't have the time I would like to spend giving her more one on one attention because I work all the time and Abigail is definitely a high maintenance child in the attention/need to be challenged respect. And Abigail's perma-chatter is driving me crazy-I love her and the fact that she has more than mastered the English language, but her conversations border on the manic, especially when she feels you are not paying enough attention to her.

So, I am saddened by all this. I realize deep down that most of these thoughts are highly emotional, only slightly tinged with rational thinking. But I feel sad and not a bit lonely, nonetheless.