Let's have a looky-loo

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my motivations in life-why I do what I do. And I have come to realize that a significant portion of my life has been spent doing things for other's approval. If I thought someone else might think something would be a good idea well, then, I would go ahead. If I thought someone might judge my action as 'stupid' or 'weird' or 'boring', etc., I would hold off on making a move. Now I come to a place in my life, that being the beginning of my 30s and hopefully a place where I have worked up to a tad bit more maturity, and I can't do anything without analyzing why I'm doing it. It's narcissism mixed with a smidge of paranoia. Why do we act? What creates urges within us? My hope is that I can come out of this stage with a better understanding of myself. I don't really want to delve any more into my psyche, I just want to be able to choose between Our Daily Bread and Old Wives Tales without having a coronary. I know I am over analyzing things, but with a purpose. Let's call this time part one of me getting my act together so I can do things for myself and think more about my intent rather than if someone is going to give me a smiley or frowny face mark on the chalkboard.Part II coming...