one liners

"Mommy, my boo boo looks like bacon now."

"Mommy, I'm going to be really mad if you don't come up here and see my Sponge Bob Square Pants movie."(which by the way, we don't own...)

she's leaving home, bye bye

Warning: The following statements were written by a fatigued, overly-warm, slightly cranky, low estrogenized, slightly depressed me, not my normal, slightly less fatigued self...

I feel as if my children are slowly moving beyond my reach. I can remember all the nights and days spent nursing Charlotte, spending time with her, just breathing in her baby-smell. I remember, too, talking with Abigail all the time when she was a wee one, playing with her, giving her hugs. Now Charlotte won't let me hug her, doesn't want me to hold her, and basically ignores me as much as humanly possible. I don't have the time I would like to spend giving her more one on one attention because I work all the time and Abigail is definitely a high maintenance child in the attention/need to be challenged respect. And Abigail's perma-chatter is driving me crazy-I love her and the fact that she has more than mastered the English language, but her conversations border on the manic, especially when she feels you are not paying enough attention to her.

So, I am saddened by all this. I realize deep down that most of these thoughts are highly emotional, only slightly tinged with rational thinking. But I feel sad and not a bit lonely, nonetheless.

cyclops

cyclops: in this case a morphing of cycling and lopsided. This is the state I envision my small frame in as I careen down MLK blvd. to Broadway on my way to work. You see, the bicycle bug has finally infected yours truly. Portland is a wonderful place to ride a bike-not just for exercise and recreation but for commuting. Besides my minor rants against cyclists trying to abide by their own road rules but also adopt and adapt motor vehicle laws and in the process almost kill themselves and give me a coronary, I like watching all the little bipeds tootling around town. And let's face it, transportation ain't as cheap as it used to be.
In light of this and the fact that I really need to get some regular exercise, I have endeavored to find myself a junker bike to ride around our neighborhood on. I figure if I can ride around the block, up to the park and back again enough times, maybe I can lengthen the rides up to a suitable distance and test my physical abilities. If any of you have any suggestions, comments or otherwise, please feel free to express them. As I have not ridden a bike for any length of time in about 14 years, encouragement would also be welcome!
Thanks, and here's to your health!

Snapshots

Let's have a looky-loo

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my motivations in life-why I do what I do. And I have come to realize that a significant portion of my life has been spent doing things for other's approval. If I thought someone else might think something would be a good idea well, then, I would go ahead. If I thought someone might judge my action as 'stupid' or 'weird' or 'boring', etc., I would hold off on making a move. Now I come to a place in my life, that being the beginning of my 30s and hopefully a place where I have worked up to a tad bit more maturity, and I can't do anything without analyzing why I'm doing it. It's narcissism mixed with a smidge of paranoia. Why do we act? What creates urges within us? My hope is that I can come out of this stage with a better understanding of myself. I don't really want to delve any more into my psyche, I just want to be able to choose between Our Daily Bread and Old Wives Tales without having a coronary. I know I am over analyzing things, but with a purpose. Let's call this time part one of me getting my act together so I can do things for myself and think more about my intent rather than if someone is going to give me a smiley or frowny face mark on the chalkboard.Part II coming...

oh they can, can they?

a couple quick things:

Charlotte the little spent her first night in her big girl bed, donated quite happily by her big sis. Abigail is now enjoying the fruits of IKEAs' wonderful selection of low priced bedroom furniture with a cute black wrought iron day-bed style. I could not believe it when Charlotte drifted off to sleep not 15 minutes after we put in her in her bed complete (of course) with baby doll and book. Not only was it amazing that she fell asleep so quickly, but that she trusted and relaxed so completely in a space foreign to her. It was an almost palpable intent with which she slept. I am blessed beyond knowing with her and her sister.

On a different note...My wonderful other half was explaining to Abigail a week or so ago that we could not go out to eat because we were trying to save money and that basically we didn't have the funds to spare at that time. Abigail looked perplexed but decided to ruminate on the news rather than get too upset.
So, fast forward a week and we have Abigail's follow up to this previous conversation. I was cleaning up around the house and she ran up to me all excited and put out her grubby little hand exclaiming, "Mommy, mommy, I found money! Now we can go out to eat!!!". What did her cherubic little hand hold, why, the estimated total of 75 cents in change from a previous vacuuming excursion. Her excitement was outdone only by my laughter. She's a corker, that one.

ps-we did end up going out that night.

-me