attack of the killer tomatoes!

Okay, so since my last post was all doom and gloom, I thought I'd recount some of the lighter side of my life:

I had to do a little grocery shopping tonight at FM and was looking for some tomatoes for salad-time when I noticed a disturbing thing-all the tomatoes I could find were either from Ohio, Canada or Mexico. Now, while I do not begrudge free enterprise, trade or the like, I also want to support my local growers here in Oregon. Maybe it's the fact that I've been here for too long and the hippies have finally gotten me, or because we grew an ass-ton of tomatoes in our little raised bed gardens at our old house last year and I was hankering for some home-grown goodness...Whatever the case, I was not pleased with the selection. Then, after careful searching, I found some beautiful little cherry tomatoes grown in Eugene at 'Ladybug Farms'. Yay!! So I picked up a pack of them suckers and took off for some other pillaging.

The quest for tomatoes got me thinking about something my eldest asked me the other day-'Mom, why are tomatoes fruit?' I racked my brain and couldn't remember the reason why, sorry 7th grade biology! So in the absence of true knowledge I did what any 20th century fool would do and turned to Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomatoes. See the section about vegetables/fruit.

Tomato tidbit-my littlest one, into shunning anything that can be classified as a vegetable, now enjoys the cherry tomatoes put in her salads-this makes me happy, and makes me think of the song by Pink Martini, "Hang on, Little Tomato".

The sun has left and forgotten me
It's dark, I cannot see
Why does this rain pour down
I'm gonna drown
In a sea
Of deep confusion

Somebody told me, I don't know who
Whenever you are sad and blue
And you're feelin' all alone and left behind
Just take a look inside and you will find

You gotta hold on, hold on through the night
Hang on, things will be all right
Even when it's dark
And not a bit of sparkling
Sing-song sunshine from above
Spreading rays of sunny love

Just hang on, hang on to the vine
Stay on, soon you'll be divine
If you start to cry, look up to the sky
Something's coming up ahead
To turn your tears to dew instead

And so I hold on to his advice
When change is hard and not so nice
You listen to your heart the whole night through
Your sunny someday will come one day soon to you

And last but not least, why did Heinz have to take the pickle off of its bottles of ketchup and replace it with a tomato? Everybody knows ketchup comes from tomatoes, except maybe people who spell it katsup and think it comes from the bloodied pulp of cats....maybe that's just me....Anyway, my eldest, referenced above, made this observation to me, and did not like the replacement of the pickle. She loves pickles and sees it as somewhat of an affront. I sort of agree with her.

All for now.

No, no no!

I'll be honest. Why not? I am not having a good time. I am not having an easy time. In fact, time and I are not friends right now. I have taken the BFF necklace life gave me and pawned it. I actually screamed every obscenity I know while driving in my car, windows rolled down, to go get my girls from preschool. Why was I doing this? Because I am not having an easy time, and because some strange man decided to wander about the intersection of se 82nd and Foster tonight, looking for the convenience store. Intelligence abounds.
Oh, and I'm sure all this anger/sarcasm/despondency has something to do with other things going on in my life that I feel absolutely no control over. Yay for life! Good job! Way to throw things at me that I can't handle.
I used to hear a bible verse that goes something like, god will never give you more than you can handle. Well, I don't know about any invisible hand tipping the scales out of my favor or anything, but I am feeling like that verse needs a good kick. More than I can handle. I'll show you more than I can handle. Grrrr. Just take a good look at my life.
Not that I tell anyone openly about my life-mainly because I only really talk to one or two people a day outside of work, and two, because I have either managed to alienate my friends, or I operate from an outdated coping mechanism called social anxiety!!!!!
Maybe I'll convince my husband we all need to join the Peace Corp, or a vegan commune, or a religious cult. Or maybe I'll go soak my head. Flip a coin.

Familia

"A Better Son / Daughter"
-Rilo Kiley

Sometimes in the morning i am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs i know i can't breath
And hope someone will help me this time
Your mother's still calling you insane and high
Swearing it's different this time
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
And that godnever blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
And crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
Like the sick and the dying

And sometimes when you're on you're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along and they love you
But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absense
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
And you'll be be better you'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter
Or son and a real good friend
And you'll be awake and you'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
And you'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest you'll be brave
You'll be handsome you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy

Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them...

In a Month...

In a month I'm going to watch you wake up in the usual way, eat your breakfast in the usual way, buckle up in the car in the usual way. But that's where normal ends and down the rabbit hole we go. You will be starting kindergarten. A garden of/for children. Little cabbages and carrots, squash and tomatoes all in pretty little rows and fields. You will not be a carrot because you do not have flaming red hair like I did going into K. You will not be a squash, even though they do have loverly blooms. No, you'll be a beautiful stalk of corn. Or maybe an heirloom tomato. The corn, well, because you are already so tall for your age, your hair is always waving madly about your face, and you blow about in the wind but your roots are always firmly planted, albeit stubbornly, in the dark earth.
I can't wait for you to experience the smells and sights and sounds of your new school. Chalk dust, freshly waxed floors, cafeteria food, brand-new bookbag/lunchbag plastic smell...Lockers, school libraries, gymnasium floors, the cacophony of 400 or so little voices all clamoring at once...
Although I know there will be all these new and wonderful things for you to explore and experience and interpret and file away in your brain for dinner time conversation, I worry. I think, will you cry? Will you like your teacher? Will you be challenged academically and socially and mentally? Will the kids be nice? Will you make friends? Will I just keep worrying every day until they put that graduation cap on your head? Or will you do exactly as I know you will...
Yes, something more like that. Your head will spin, your eyes will light up, your feelings and thoughts will find their voice, your hand will find anothers to hold, and you will be fine. More than fine, actually. You will thrive...A little water, a little sunlight, lots of tender love and attention from mom and dad, teachers and friends, and you will grow so tall and so healthy and so fruitful. I can't wait.
Well, maybe another month...