Dimen

The digital camera has been on the fritz so I don't have any new pictures to post.

I have been tired beyond all belief upon arrival at home so no really insightful journaling to impart.

My brain has turned to mush after 4 years of child-rearing and no school to speak of-other than being schooled by my two wonderful children.

I did, however, come across an intersting interview with Amy Tan regarding the Dong people from Dimen, a village in southwest China. The Dong people have an amazing oral history, where the history of their people and their culture are passed down from the eldest grandmother to the youngest child. If you would like to see a lovely photo essay and more informatin about this intersting group of people you can find it, as well as the full article by Amy Tan on National Geographic's website.
I was amazed by the beauty of their land and their traditions. I am so used to looking at fashion magazines, popular television and movies that my idea of what is "beautiful" becomes skewed at times. When I see these people, the way they live, and listen to the open emotion and thoughtful insights that are woven into their music, I am reminded of what true artistic beauty is.

"Young children not only sing to greet but also talk about community and the changing of seasons. The song "Spring Is Here, Swallows Fly" talks about the shortness of childhood, using birds as a metaphor:

After winter we get spring / Swallows fly amidst green leaves / Cicadas sing on top of berry trees / High and low sounds fill the mountains / Cicadas' songs are so beautiful, let's stop and listen / You can hear the mountains and forests resounding / Even the birds would stop and listen / There is music, there is love / All four seasons are filled with happiness / We are happy in our hearts

Across the Dong culture, most of the songs celebrate the natural world."
Amy Tan Reveals Stories of Dong Folk Songs

billions of lightyears away

I have a lot of thoughts going through my head right now. Like why did it take a change in medicine to make me feel relief from the crippling anxiety I have dealt with my entire life? I don't blame anybody, not even myself, not even a god if he exists. I am more astonished than upset. For those of you who don't have an issue with anxiety, count yourselves lucky. I don't say that to be trite. I hope you never have to deal with that particular monkey on your back. The almost constant niggling thoughts, the obsessing, the intrusive second-guessing-it's a bitch to deal with.
I am still struggling with reaching out to people, even people I know well and care about. That hasn't much changed--working on it but it is slow-going. I'm not sure if someone asked me if I would be able to tell them what exactly I'm worried about when it comes to social interactions. It isn't that I don't like people. I either feel a strange complacency which then spills into a general feeling of anxiety and an inability to get motivated, or I create a sterile bubble around myself where others cannot and don't really exist. If that's too personal for anyone reading this, well, it is a "journal" so...

Other than this new self-discovery I don't have much else to report. I like this band I just stumbled onto-"She&Him". They make me think of "The Carpenters" with a little "Au Revoir Simone". I didn't realize it was Zooey Deschanel singing vocals till I looked them up on Merge Records. Take a listen if you like.

more later, friends.
-Eh

women "live"

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

-Dorothy Parker

cuppa joe joe, get a go go

I am not a fan of Mondays. Today started out to be a particularly unpleasant Monday...












woke up, day two of my period. -

had some coffee +

drove to work in the messiest car ever, the volvo of shame -

had to sit through a two hour office meeting -

bought doughnuts for the office minions +

ate two of said doughnuts -

and on and on it went.



In the middle of the day I went upstairs into my lair, otherwise known as the B breakroom, and did a little daydreaming. One of the items up for discussion at our well-intentioned office meeting was the idea of having everyone wear uniforms. Now, I am not against uniforms in general, or on principle. My father wore a military uniform for 20 years and it suited us just fine. I do object, though, to having to wear a prescribed "blouse" and particular color skirt/pair of pants as a front office staffer. The techies? fine. The practitioners? makes sense. But this body is not meant to be swathed in a beige or peach or light blue or mint green short sleeved sateen button down front collared monstrosity! So to protest quietly amongst myself I had a little "conversation" with my boss in which I told him in no uncertain terms I would not be wearing a uniform. That those shirts would look heinous on me. I told him, boss man, I can't wear a uniform. Part of the reason I went back to work was to dress nice! To wear some semblance of the fashion of the week or month or season. If I wanted to wear a uniform I could have stayed at home and worn a f***ing tee shirt and jeans!

I see my polyester imprisonment upon me, and I shiver.