And it's all a part of growing up...

So, what's new?
Well, we are finally getting better"on track" with our financials...thanks to Zakk and 'Mint'. I know it may seem impossible that a family of 4 with two people working full time could not hold on to a semi-middle class budget but, well, there you go...

Our family is going to be moving to the lovely neighborhood of Sellwood in the not too distant future. I am excited to be making a change, even though it seems like we just moved into our beautiful Victorian in North Portland! This new place is closer to my work, and with Abigail starting Kindergarten in the fall, it puts us in a good distance from both the girl's schools. We will be right by a large park which makes the 5 pounds of winter weight on me happy! Walk it!

We had a local moving company come out and look over the house to give us an estimate on all of our stuff... and that leads me in to another thing I want to report: we are FINALLY streamlining our home, as in-if it's not nailed to the floor and/or providing a useful function, get it the hell out! Goodwill has been blessed with quite a few items, as well as Craigslist and Ebay-we won't be undersold!!

That's it for now. Maybe I'll post some pictures tonight if I'm not totally worn out from picking up the girls, driving home, getting dinner on the table, giving baths, reading stories, and making sure everyone who is NOT fully potty trained has used the bathroom before bed time(Sampson.....)

Shut the F@#k up!

Okay, and with that overly dramatic title you're probably wondering what the hell I'm getting ready to write about. Well, people. I deal with people all day-customers, doctors, nurses, practitioners, insurance companies, co-workers, medical staff, etc. The thing I am running into is how to keep my mouth shut while still staying true to myself. See, I am really good at being a yes-man on the phone and a lot of times in person. I am agreeable with the people I deal with all day at my job, but that, I have been finding out, is just a way to keep up an unhealthy practice that does not allow me to say what I think/feel/want, etc.
Like take today for example. I got a call from two higher ups about a patient who was upset with me and said I was a liar. Now, the last time I was blatantly called a liar by someone who was not a family member or friend, I had an asshole professor in college tell me I lied about turning in a paper-which, by the way, I did NOT lie about! I turned the damn thing in-I can't help it if he was a completely scatterbrained pig of a teacher. ugh. (ps-I ended up getting a B in his class all because of that "missing" paper-surprised he didn't turn me in to the term paper Nazis.)
Anyway, this person who said I lied about something had only one week ago, gone on a tirade(via phone) about how we live in a socialist society, that giving tax money to help people in need was wrong and that all people who couldn't make as much money as he could should basically rid the world of their personage. Now, the polite, tactful, customer service oriented Erin just sort of laughed it off and steered the person back to the task at hand, whatever it happened to be at the time. The real me wanted to tell him that he was speaking in an offensive manner and that I would rather be a socialist, bleeding heart liberal than a capitalistic asshole!
Whatever. Point is, when you get me on the phone at work I will be as genteel as a belle, but please do not expect to get my real thoughts on issues while at work.
Oh misguided patients who think my main goal in life is to smile and nod at them.
Wake up!

Whatnots

For some reason the crazy, cranky, unpredictable weather in PDX has a way of making me smile. Maybe it's that the changes are constant, an unlikely pairing, or maybe it's because it reminds me of my moods-see above. Today it has been sunny, rainy, windy, it has hailed, and I head a burst of thunder not too long ago.

I have found that odd phone calls always come in threes here at work. Much like celebrity deaths. Always in threes. If only two people have passed on, well, wait for the next copy of US Weekly to come out and you'll have your trinity. As a note to that thought, there is an 80% chance of one of the phone calls being a pre-recorded solicitation. So far I need to refinance my house, buy a house, buy a forclosed house, stop my house from being forclosed on, buy a car warranty, subscribe to DISH network, get out of debt, get out of debt fast, and eliminate all my debt with one easy call. I can find out what wonderful things are waiting in store for me in a free trip to the Islands(which ones they're refering to, I'm not sure), and more than once my future, I've been told, can be secured with one simple phone call to sign up for one simple seminar...

That's all for now, folks. Just some minor musings.

It's not Mastercard

Waffles for breakfast
Snuggle time on the couch
Playing one-on-one on the floor with the littlest one while big sister goes to ballet practice
dinner at the overlook cafe
car ride doing the usual architectural tour of PDX
chatting with the husband about the future
playing with the flashlight and light board in the tent with the girls before bed...
all these things are priceless

Communion

"And the deepest level of communication is not communication, but communion. It is wordless. It is beyond words, and it is beyond speech, and it is beyond concept. Not that we discover a new unity. We discover an older unity. My dear, we are already one. But we imagine that we are not. And what we have to recover is our original unity. What we have to be is what we are."

a closing prayer by Thomas Merton

Outside In

Driving home tonight I looked at my two wonderful daughters in the rearview mirror and got one of those elusive snapshots of them immortalized forever in my brain, me on the outside looking in.

It is a rare moment when I can see my children 'objectively'; at least as much as motherly possible! Usually I am correcting grammar, laughing, telling one to be more quiet, asking the other one to take her thumb out of her mouth and talk to me, blithely unaware that life is happening to me at that very moment.

Seeing them, one, two, looking at me, me seeing them looking at me, as their mother, that was a good moment, a good day.

Lovely

John Waterhouse

Smile Deux

Smile One

Garden Gnomes make me smile.

Love